All their tomorrows
by cein
Summary: Post ep fic for S2 ep4 Meat. Jack/Ianto pairing. It's another day over for Torchwood.


Title: All their tomorrows Author: Ceindreadh Characters/Pairing: Jack/Ianto Word Count: approx 1200 Rating: T/PG-15 Summary: Post scene to S2 Ep4 - Meat Warning: Spoilers for S2 Ep4. Angsty and may need tissues Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Torchwood characters, I'm only borrowing them, and I promise to return them in minty fresh condition when I'm finished.  
Notes: One of the many reviewers of Meat expressed a desire to see how Ianto had reacted to certain events in Meat. Unfortunately I can't remember their name, but I thank them for the plot bunny (which as usual ran off in a slightly different direction than intended)

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It was much later, after everybody else had gone home, when Ianto's hands started shaking.

He'd filled out the paperwork relating to the fire at the warehouse where they'd incinerated the alien. The police would investigate, so would the insurance company, but there would be no proof of anything other than a random electrical fault and the case would be closed. He'd typed up the appropriate reports for Torchwood, detailing the full events of the case, all they'd managed to find out about the alien, the measures they'd taken to deal with it. He'd completed all the daily tasks that were required to keep the Hub running smoothly, placing orders to replace the medical supplies used on Rhys, refuelling the SUV, making sure Myfanwy was fed and watered. 

Finally, as had become their habit over the past month or so, Ianto made his way to Jack's office, carrying two steaming mugs of coffee and a plate of biscuits on a tray, to see if there was anything else required of him.

Most of the time Jack simply required a kiss, a few caresses and flirting, or even just some company as he completed his daily tasks...requirements that Ianto was only too happy to fulfil. 

Other times Jack seemed to need more...a sounding board, somebody to listen to him as he expounded his theories and plans for Torchwood three and the future. Variations on the 'we've got to be ready' spiel that Ianto had come to know and love. 

Occasionally Jack needed somebody to listen while he vented his anger at the short-sighted foolishness of people who sought to corrupt the present for their own personal gain. 

Sometimes Jack, even Jack, needed a shoulder to cry on...Jack Harkness, the man Ianto had once accused of being a monster...had a bigger heart than most people Ianto knew. Ianto knew how upset Jack been at the outcome of the day. A part of Ianto had been secretly relieved that the alien creature had had to be euthanized. The logistics of transporting it to a place of safety, not to mention feeding it until they could shove it back into the Rift; that would have been a stretch even for Ianto. And there was no guarantee that it would have found any more any more hospitable surroundings following a second journey through the Rift than it had on its first. 

But Ianto knew that Jack had been badly affected by what he perceived as his failure to save the creature. 

And then to top it off he'd had his authority challenged yet again by Gwen bloody Cooper. Her failure to administer the amnesia pill could be the undoing of them all thought Ianto. At the very least it would require a considerable expenditure of time and effort on their part to monitor the man until they could be sure he could be relied upon to keep his mouth shut. And then of course there was his safety to consider. Rhys's ignorance of Torchwood was as much for his own protection as for theirs. There were always those who wanted to find out more about Torchwood and would stop at nothing to get it. Rhys had already found out that innocence was not a bullet proof commodity, and Ianto didn't want him to find out that a little knowledge was a dangerous thing as well.

Ianto could usually tell by the set of Jack's shoulders just what he was going to need, and tonight was no exception.

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Jack was busy cleaning his gun as if his life depended on it. Polishing it furiously, examining each and every working part before reassembling it into an instrument of death. Examining the unloaded chambers once more, he closed the cylinder before taking aim at the wall and pulling the trigger. The sound of the firing pin hitting the empty chamber echoed around the room. 

The tray slipped out of Ianto's suddenly shaking hands and clattered on the floor. 

The sound made Jack look up in surprise, instantly scanning the surrounding area for signs of danger. But all he could see was Ianto, slumped back against the wall, his whole body trembling. 

"Ianto? What's wrong?" Jack was out of his seat in a flash. Broken china crunching underfoot as he hurried to Ianto's side. Closer now he could see that the colour had drained from Ianto's face as his eyes stared blankly past Jack.

Jack put his hands on Ianto's face, turning him until he was making eye contact. He could feel the clamminess of the younger man's skin beneath him. "Ianto?" said Jack. "Talk to me, what's wrong?"

"He...he had a gun in my face..." Ianto's breath was coming short gasps. "He...he pulled the trigger...he shot...he shot me..."

Jack spared a brief glance back to his desk where his gun lay, and then returned his attention to Ianto. "Ianto," he said gently, "He didn't shoot you, you're all right."

Ianto shook his head, "He pulled the trigger, Jack. He pulled the trigger right in my face...if it hadn't been empty, if there'd been a bullet left..."

Jack pulled Ianto into a hug. Arms wrapped tightly around him, Ianto's head resting on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Ianto...I'm so sorry...I didn't know...why didn't you tell me?" His blood ran cold at the thought of how near a miss it had been. 

"I should be dead," came Ianto's voice, muffled against Jack's shoulder. He pushed away slightly, looking Jack straight in the eye. "Why am I not dead?" 

Jack gently caressed Ianto's cheek, "Because I'm not ready to lose you." 

"But you'll have to one day," said Ianto. "One day, maybe there'll be a gun in my face again only it'll still have a bullet left. Even it's not that, sooner or later I'm going to die and leave you behind." He pulled Jack closer. "I don't know which part of that scares me the most..."

Jack let his head rest against Ianto's for a few seconds before he sighed heavily, "Someday it is going to happen," he said softly. "Everybody I've loved in the past hundred odd years. Sooner or later they die while I live. And every time, a piece of me dies inside." He was silent for a few seconds before he continued, "But when I'm with them...when I'm with you I feel more alive than ever. And if the pain of the loss is the price I have to pay...I know that it'll have been worth it...I know that you are worth it." 

They stood there in silence, each clinging to the other as a life belt in a stormy sea. Listening to Jack's heartbeat, Ianto found that it drowned out the echo of the firing pin. Jack for his part, breathed in the Ianto scented air, wanting to reassure himself that Ianto was still there, that he hadn't lost him just yet. 

"Not today," Ianto's voice was barely audible.

"What was that?"

"Someday it'll happen..."

"But it hasn't happened today." 

"And maybe it won't happen tomorrow."

They smiled at each other, knowing that today and tomorrow and all their tomorrows, however many were left to them, that they would make every one of them count. 

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Ceindreadh 


End file.
